Release therapy: Letting it go 01/24-01/30 recap

So...if you couldn't tell by the last few blogs...I've definitely been in a funk for the past week. And with my most recent blog, I made a declaration to myself. With that information being said, let's have a recap of what has been going on.

It all started with an ongoing issue I've been having with my sister. Can't quite fingerpoint it, but we can be like water and oil...we don't mix. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and will do anything for her, but sometimes... Anyway, whenever something happens between us, my mother gets involved. And whenever she gets involved, I seem to withdraw from everyone and everything. So that pretty much added insult to injury. {BTW: I hate when my mom gets involved. I personally believe that my sister and I are old enough to handle our issues by ourselves}

So if this wasn't already weighing me down, here comes MORE DRAMA. There is this girl, who I thought I was cool with until fate showed me her hand, and she happens to like this guy who claims to be my friend but I'm beginning to think otherwise. The guy is at my apartment for the weekend for reasons that I will not disclose. {Press pause: here is some information that should be disclosed. I've known this girl for a few years and not never have we ever hung out so often until she had interest in this guy who claims to be my friend. Push play.} So they're all at my apartment. We're watchin movies and playin games. It got kinda late and everyone is leaving. So when she gets up to leave, so does he. Without any prior knowledge to me, he ups and leaves. Now maybe I'm overreacting. But as a "friend" who helps you out when your in need of help, this being one of those times, I felt the least he could do was tell me he was leaving. Especially when he had just told me earlier that he didn't want to see her.

{Sidebar: Here is where I messed up. Maybe I should have told this girl that the I messed around with this guy. But me trying to be a "friend" to someone who doesn't deserve me in their life, I decided not to. Lesson: be more upfront with people}

So...why am I feeling down because of this? Like I said, I've known this girl since the summer of my freshman year in college and I'm now a senior. I've seen her more in the last month than I have in the last four years of this so-called friendship. I haven't talked to her or this guy since that day they left my apartment. From him: I shouldn't be surprised because its not the first time he's done something like this. However, I'm still shocked because I felt like we've come so much farther than this. From her: I'm utterly speechless. I never saw this coming. Here I am thinking that our friendship is growing, but she was using me to get closer to him. And she had the audacity to say that she didn't want to make it seem like she was using me. LMAO... How silly I was to believe her. But I still laugh because she fails to realize how he really feels about her.

So here's my lesson learned: be aware of brand new behavior. This guy would be at my place often. So it wasn't until after all of this happened when I noticed, she no longer called me on my cell phone but rather my house phone. Question: why is she calling the house number I never gave her. Could this be because he'd be calling her from my house? Brand new behavior...DAMN RIGHT. Calling my house, saying wussup to me, asked if he was there so they can talk. Brand new behavior...DAMN RIGHT. So I am not surprised that because he's not at my house, she has no reason to call...DAMN RIGHT!!

I really wanted to believe the best in this situation. But reality will eventually be revealed and deliver a sizeable dose in my life. So in the case of my family, we have seen thunderstorms and sunny days and we always come out on top. And in the case of these other two people...there's not much I can say. So to the two of you...I wish you the best. You two deserve each other...you both used me and I just want you to remember, karma is a bitch.

{To all of those who checked up on me and got truth out of me as to why I was so sad...Thank you. "I gotcha, I love ya babes."}

Song in mind: My Foolish Heart by Jazmine Sullivan