My Progress

I've realized that I made a promise to myself. Where am I in that promise?

Progress: Middle English progresse, from Latin prōgressus, from past participle of prōgredī, to advance : prō-, forward; see pro-¹ + gradī, to go, walk; see ghredh- in Indo-European roots.

If that's what progress means in its original form...I haven't been very successful. I look at the ring that I wear as and feel like there is no point in wearing it if I continue to live my life in the parameters of this box I have placed myself in. I firmly believe in becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. So why is it that whenever I want to do something outside my box, I become nervous and regress back inside this box?

Okay...so I actually know the answer to that. It's because I don't like the concept of change. As necessary as it is and as vital as it is to the maturation of people in general, I can't seem to want to change myself. I would rather those around me to change to adjust to what is comfortable for me. And in my mind, I know its not realistic because the only change I have direct power over is the power to change myself.

So what now?!?!?

Obstacles in my way

Why is that whenever you try and do something positive, or be positive, someone or something comes along and blocks forward movement?

I'm constantly criticized for remaining stagnant in my personal growth. People tell me all the time that the methods I employ in handling personal issues are not garnering effective change. So in my efforts to become a better person, I try a different method. I tried to handle things before it became a big deal. And unbeknownst to me, the same person who hashed out the criticism is the same one that really needs the change. To criticize and recommend change, then be the one not to make forward progression is paradoxical. Not only that, but I don't think anyone is justified in telling someone else how to conduct themselves. The only person who can induce change, is the person who needs change. Until they realize that change is needed, the recommendations fall on deaf ears.

I'm at a loss for words. I feel like I'm stuck in a conundrum. I can't seem to get past the hypocrisy that lies within people. And don't get me wrong, I'm guilty of hypocrisy also, but the difference is that I'm aware of my faults and am actively working on falling in love with myself. And the only way to fully love myself is to adhere to my goal of actively becoming a better person. Most people are knowledgable of their faults and that's where the work stops. I'm removing myself away from stagnation, can you say the same?

What in the hell?!?!?

UNFUCKINBELIEVABLE!! Two phone calls made as black teens slept in a car and only one for the white teens vandalizing the car during the day. I know racism still exists but this is simply ridiculous.