Something told me...

I knew that as soon as I signed up for this blog, I would get so excited and want to publish a blog every week. Then...reality set it, ideas run low, and the motivation and inspiration that moved me to start this blog page would slowly diminish. So I didn't write the whole month of March and the majority of April for those reasons.

But in between my this and my last blog, I've realized my growth. And even the statement in of itself I feel is a step toward maturity when you realize how immature you used to be and are working to alleviate that. As for my age counterparts, I wish the same were true. The more immature I realize I was and the more I try to work and move away from that, the more I realize how those I considered close are just as immature. But am I wrong to say that I am actually quite happy I was able to move away from those people?!?!? And the person I'm referencing was someone I was really close to...or so I thought. Its amazing how much change can happen so quickly. Well maybe so much not the change, but when you realize it. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe she's a great person. However, I realize we are at two different places in our lives. I am strong enough to stand for what I believe in and still listen to reason. I now know how to be fair without a wavering position. My "frassociate"* as I like to call them, is unable to do so. And when I talk about myself being able to be reasonable, I mean moreso in the construct of a larger group. I am so aware of personal interest, however, when dealing with a larger group, you have to be able to reach a reasonable medium. And the more I do that, the more I realize that my "frassociate" is so easily swayed. Unless of course, it is within her personal interest. But as I move into my 21st year, I realize these are people who are younger than me and probably will go through the same reflections and realizations as me as they near their birthday. My only hope for them, and mainly this "frassociate" is that they are not locked in their ways and are open to being open and hearing reason.

*frassociate is a term I use to reference people in my life. I have come to realize that not everyone can be ur friend. I believe friend is a term that is overused simply out of convenience. So I have grouped the people in my life that most would refer to as "friend". I have associates who are people I have to deal with not by choice but still cordial with. I have friends. These are the people that no matter what happens are always there for me. So the term came about when I realized everyone wasn't grouped. And those who weren't grouped were those who fell between friend and associate: hence the term frassociate. These are people who I hang out with and actually like hanging out with, but are not in my life the way a friend should be.