My PSA to parents

So as of lately, I have been in search of something to write about. Every so often I get the urge to write something or to speak something so profound that my words can be internalized and carried on so that if one person can spark an idea and make a change, then I can be content with my life's work and experience and move on. With all that being said, I couldn't find anything that I wanted to say...until last night.

Being Nigerian-American, I've realized that there are certain ideals that Nigerian parents instill in their kids. And depending on where you fall amongst your siblings determines what ideals your parents instill. If you are the eldest of your siblings, then you are cursed with the responsibility of being the "tester". Parents will experiment all their ideas of what it is to be a parent with you. Everything from rewards and discipline to what school you go to. Then when the next child comes along, they know what to work therefore possibly scarring the oldest one for life. Then the eldest child grows up possibly resenting his/her siblings over something that they had no control over.

Not only do they possibly scar the eldest one, but they also impose the concept of being surrogate parents, forcing the eldest child to teach the younger ones about their learning experiences and the things "mom and dad like and don't like you to do around and outside of the house." Once again, proclaiming yet another stigma that this child either rejects or embraces to the point where they may resent being a third parental figure when the age gap between siblings is no more than 4-5 years. (Nigerians are just as fertile as Mexicans...yeah I said it.)

So what's the purpose of this? I say all of this because this has been my experience. I don't get along with my sister because I honestly think she resents me for some reason unbeknown to me. When I tried to alleviate the problem, it only leads to more arguing and headache.

My recommendation: to all the parents with children, be careful of how you treat your kids, especially if you have more than one. Treat your kids the same way. If you yell at one child for not putting away the toys, make sure you yell at the other and you split the punishment. If you don't let one child go to sleep overs until they are 8, the other child can't go to a sleep over until they turn 8...regardless of who the parents are. Believe me when I tell you, children notice different treatments between siblings as young as age 4. Don't scar your children. It will only come back to bite you as they grow. Granted I don't have kids, but I remember what it was like growing up with sisters who received different treatment and leniency. And I have worked with enough kids to know they start going through emotional issues as young as the second grade. But nonetheless, you can take my advice with a grain of salt and just wait and see and deal with the potential fall out when it happens.