Transition

I recently went on an interview and ran into one of the worldly people I know. We talked about what I was up to and he said something to me that registered and summed up the last year of my life.

Since I've graduated, I felt like I've been on this search, yet didn't know what I was looking for. The person I ran into told me that I am in transition from youth to adulthood. I never realized that I was growing and transitioning until he said it to me. I have been going through things that adults deal with on a regular basis. I've been wondering why everything was against me. Only to understand that the only thing in my way was my perspective on what was taking place was to juvenile to deal with these adult matters.

For example, I haven't really worked in over a year. Yeah, I had a part time job for three months. but it wasn't enough to get by on. I was angry that I had a bachelor's degree and couldn't find a job worthwhile. I loved the work that I did, mainly because I enjoyed working with the kids. However, the work that was demanded of me was far to great for the pay that I was receiving.

Adult situation. I hear of people in these type of situations all the time. They somehow make it work for them until something better passes along. Then I realized we can't all start out at the top. We sometimes need to suffer and lose so that we can realize our worth and appreciate the things that we have. I am currently in a place where sometimes I feel like I've hit rock bottom. No money, no gas, can't do the things that I want, had to move back home with my mom, etc. For most people this is rock bottom. But my faith in God and the belief that no condition is permanent, therefore change will come has kept me afloat and kept me looking for a means to an end. And then to acknowledge my blessings. The fact that I woke up this morning is proof that another day means another opportunity to change my circumstance. The fact that my mom allowed me to move back home and not pay a thing. As a matter of fact my mom has been my rock. Paying for the things that I need, ie. car insurance and cell phone bill. The fact that I have people in my life you have been encouraging and upbeat, even when I haven't been.

I say all of this to those of you who are in the same, better, or worse position. Remember, no condition is permanent. You may be up today and at the bottom tomorrow, or vice versa. But life is a constant transition so appreciate the things you do have, change the things you don't, and never waver in your faith.

baffled

I have a need to write. A need to say something. Yet the words can't seem to formulate and produce themselves into this blog. I want to be inspirational yet real. I want to give information, yet give my opinion without creating bias.

Needless to say, I don't know what to say. Poetry, paragraphs, or just plain rambling. Maybe a good night's sleep can help me and I can try this again in the morning. Until then...I'm chuckin up the deuces. PEACE!!

Signed,
I don't know

To Be or Not To Be...Vegetarian

Dear Blog Readers,

I have been vegetarian for a complete month now. Some amazing things have happened due to it. I have learned healthier ways of eating. I have put into habit portion control while eating. Thus leading to a 12 pound weight loss. (disclaimer: in the last month I was also sick for two weeks and under tremendous stress which I add as factors. Nonetheless...I still lost weight.)

So what's the down side? I MISS CHICKEN!! I pass by Wendy's on my way to work and again on my way home. Do you know how badly I want the spicy chicken nuggets? Or having to endure holidays with no bbq? Memorial Day just passed and the 4th of July is on the way. Or to go out to a restaurant and have to create your own vegetarian meal and still pay the same price as if the chicken came with the food? Or having to buy fish or shrimp all the time? That shit is expensive!! *deep sigh*

So I was thinking of being a part time vegetarian. My husband said its cheating. Now I'm stuck in a bind. The plan was to be a vegetarian for the month of May. Now that May has come to an end, I'm torn whether I would like to continue being vegetarian or minimize the amount of chicken I allow in my diet.

Signed,
Chicken lover gone Vegetarian

For the past 6 days I have been suffering from the most random illness. I didn't even feel it coming on. I just woke up one morning and BOOM!!! There it was. But this is kinda how it went down:

Day One: MISDIAGNOSIS. I had been cleaning up my room at my mom's house and inhaled a lot of dust. So when I woke up the next morning...I thought it was allergies because of all the dust I had come in contact with.

Day Two: FULL BLOWN SICKNESS. I could not get out of bed. My body had completely shut down on me. I pretty much slept all day except when I went to the store to get some soup.

Day Three: CAN'T KEEP FOOD DOWN. I really had no appetite. So when I finally ate something at around 7:00 it was a surprise to me that I threw it back up. I tried eating something else...threw it back up. It seemed that the food I ate would rather spend time with my sink and toilet bowl than providing me with nourishment. So I didn't eat.

Day Four: PRESCRIBED FUN. By this day I was hoping that I would be on the downside of my symptoms because I was going out for my sister and best friend's belated birthday celebration. I woke up, got ready for church, went to Target to get thera-flu, vapo-rub, and cough drops. Made the Thera-flu before going to church. Halfway through the service, I went to my car to go to sleep. Once again, I couldn't keep food down. I had not eaten all day, which mean my night would consist of no alcohol...[sad face]. But I decided to indulge in a blended margarita. (I would pay for it later)

Day Five: MUSCULAR DISCOMFORT. I woke up feeling better. I wasn't hacking my lungs out. The sinus pressure in my nose was wearing down to the point where I was able to breathe out of both nostrils...not fully but just enough. Then...I coughed. I went into shock because from shoulder blade to shoulder blade down to right beneath the breast bone was complete with pain. Mind you...I had to go back to work today. By the time I got to work, I began to feel worse. And its harder dealing with a class full of third graders when you're not your complete self.

Day Six: ??? We'll see what the day brings.

Jennifer Hudson and Ellen bathroom duet

CLASSICALLY HILARIOUS!!!

Letter to Usher

Dear Usher,

I'm extremely glad that you are making a comeback. Although I loved Moving Mountains, that last album didn't move me to go out and purchase it. I'm sorry...I did buy the album, I just never listened to it. (At least you got your cut)

This new album seems to be going back to your origins of good music where there are club hits and ballads to get it in to. However, why have you come out with like eight singles. Let's see: Papers, Hey Daddy, Lil Freak, OMG, and There Goes My Baby. Did I miss one?

Seriously Mr. Raymond...seriously? Aren't there only like 13 songs on albums now? And you decide to put out one-third of your cd? Was that the best marketing move? From the singles that are out, you seem to be all over the place. What are you trying to say? From the title it seems like there is a battle within your mind. Kinda like I AM...Sasha Fierce. Do you want to be Beyonce? I'm not judging the album because I haven't heard it and refuse to buy it unless I hear good things about it. All I'm saying is do you and be real to that. If that means that you are trying something new on this album by dissing your ex-wife, then letting her know you have someone new and she's your baby and also happens to be a freak...then so be it. But how about you hold on to some of the mystery of the album. If you keep people wondering, you're more likely to have album sales than to put out a third of your album and people getting tired of knowing that daddy's home.

Love always,
#Imjustsayin

The Culmination

As some of you may know, I gave up sex for Lent. That's right...for forty days and forty nights, I forewent sex. Lent is the season where you either give up something or acquire a good habit. It's a time for thought and reflection into the type of person you want to be. So this year, I gave up sex in hopes that it would allow me to focus on other aspects of the male species. Don't get me wrong, I'm not loose like some people I know. But sex was not interesting because that's all there was. No real relationship, just based on needs...with the exception of my last relationship.

So what now? Today is Palm Sunday and officially the last day of Lent before entering Holy Week. After 40 days, I am yearning for what I have been without for forty days. But I can't go back to what I was doing before Lent. It's not who I want to be, and not a habit I want to get back into. All in all, I think this was the best thing for me. No more using men just for sex. Now I know I can actually put into habit that sex should come with meaning and not just be some casual affair between two people.

Some people doubted my ability to be able to make it these 40 days. but I showed those suckers!! LOL. But I'm glad I did it. I definitely was skeptical but it was well worth it.