[title to come later]

Sometimes I wake up

In the middle of the night

With you on my mind

And remnants of the memory that was

Cross my mind as something that could have been

Us sharing something so deep

That it’d be impossible to let go

All the cliché things that people do in a relationships

Acceptable forms of PDA…holding hands

Kissing under the moonlight

Holding me so tight that we become one

But as I envisioned us going deeper

You didn’t care to go deep enough

Only penetrating the surface

You couldn’t go deep enough

To touch my soul

You seeped into my skin

Left your mark on my memory

But left my soul untouched

So do I curse you or thank you?

Because the truth of the matter is

While you’ve effected me

You don’t affect me

Memories come a dime a dozen

But forever only comes once

So the memories transform into lessons

And the lessons shall lead into something so deep

That my soul is penetrated every time he touches me

My thoughts, his touch, and our emotion become one

[i'll finish it soon]

My PSA to parents

So as of lately, I have been in search of something to write about. Every so often I get the urge to write something or to speak something so profound that my words can be internalized and carried on so that if one person can spark an idea and make a change, then I can be content with my life's work and experience and move on. With all that being said, I couldn't find anything that I wanted to say...until last night.

Being Nigerian-American, I've realized that there are certain ideals that Nigerian parents instill in their kids. And depending on where you fall amongst your siblings determines what ideals your parents instill. If you are the eldest of your siblings, then you are cursed with the responsibility of being the "tester". Parents will experiment all their ideas of what it is to be a parent with you. Everything from rewards and discipline to what school you go to. Then when the next child comes along, they know what to work therefore possibly scarring the oldest one for life. Then the eldest child grows up possibly resenting his/her siblings over something that they had no control over.

Not only do they possibly scar the eldest one, but they also impose the concept of being surrogate parents, forcing the eldest child to teach the younger ones about their learning experiences and the things "mom and dad like and don't like you to do around and outside of the house." Once again, proclaiming yet another stigma that this child either rejects or embraces to the point where they may resent being a third parental figure when the age gap between siblings is no more than 4-5 years. (Nigerians are just as fertile as Mexicans...yeah I said it.)

So what's the purpose of this? I say all of this because this has been my experience. I don't get along with my sister because I honestly think she resents me for some reason unbeknown to me. When I tried to alleviate the problem, it only leads to more arguing and headache.

My recommendation: to all the parents with children, be careful of how you treat your kids, especially if you have more than one. Treat your kids the same way. If you yell at one child for not putting away the toys, make sure you yell at the other and you split the punishment. If you don't let one child go to sleep overs until they are 8, the other child can't go to a sleep over until they turn 8...regardless of who the parents are. Believe me when I tell you, children notice different treatments between siblings as young as age 4. Don't scar your children. It will only come back to bite you as they grow. Granted I don't have kids, but I remember what it was like growing up with sisters who received different treatment and leniency. And I have worked with enough kids to know they start going through emotional issues as young as the second grade. But nonetheless, you can take my advice with a grain of salt and just wait and see and deal with the potential fall out when it happens.